Eight weeks ago today, I had my 2nd knee replacement. This is clearly a time in my life that the Lord is able to use for growing me. I am still and listening to Him, and I am crying out through the pain and frustration and sometimes desperation for His help. Yes indeed, these are teachable moments for the go-getter girl that I am, seldom stopping to reflect on things before I am off and running to the next project. I have improved my listening over the years, and after retirement especially; I just regret now that I didn't do more listening in my earlier years.
About the surgery
In many respects this surgery went better than the first knee, although I found that I didn't actually remember much about the first knee experience. Had I not blogged some of it, it would have been a total blur. I guess that is how our mind deals with pain to dull the memory so we are not continually reminded of it.
This time my side affects of the pain medicine were quite different -- no hallucinations at least -- but the doctor and I had agreed to use very low doses of the weakest narcotic in order to prevent me hitting the threshold in my body where I could take nothing. So while I had some pain relief for the worst times, it was not complete pain relief by any means. I had to switch medications at two weeks because I was getting pounding heart beat and total body shakes from the first one. I took the second medication for about a week before side affects started with it, and decided at that point I could tough it out with ice and Tylenol.
The medications they gave me to offset the side affects of the narcotic as well as the blood thinners, medications for muscle spasms, nausea, constipation, and anxiety/itching all have side affects of their own. I felt like my body was a pool of chemicals and couldn't wait to get off all that junk to return to a normal function. At one month I was able to stop all the additional meds, and after a couple weeks my body returned to all systems normal. During this process I lost 15 lbs., but now I have my appetite back and can level out my eating.
Lesson 1 God is in Control
I am not in control of anything in my life except my thoughts and my actions. This recovery time was a clear reminder that I am quite helpless in this world. Laying in bed, not able to get up on my own, not able to make Johnnie hear me when I need help, not able to get past the pain no matter what I do except by prayer I can calm down and the Holy Spirit ministers to me. Whew! This was such a poignant lesson.
I think it was brought home by a comment from an older lady helping us at the medical supply company where I was getting fitted for my compression stockings (oh joy!). That was at 2 weeks out from surgery and I was very uncomfortable riding in the car to get there. The day was hot, the car windows were down and the exhaust fumes from the traffic were making me queasy. When we got inside the store and I found out we would have to wait 1/2 hour for my insurance approval before we could get the socks and go, well, I had a melt down. I simply couldn't sit there for 30 min. being miserable -- I needed to leave!
This nice lady said to me "You are just like I am, you are used to being in control, and you don't like it when you are not in control". Now that was an odd thing to say to me, but she nailed it in a non-offensive way. She took me over to a recliner chair they had, set me down and and brought me cold water. I calmed down and was fine once I got comfortable and had a chance to reflect on her words.
Humans love the illusion of being in control of our destiny, our life plans, our careers, etc. But in reality, we have very little control over anything. Acknowledging that God is sovereign in the universe and nothing happens that He doesn't allow to happen, well, that gives me a lot to reconsider. How much time do I waste worrying about things I can't change or even reliably predict? Giving up this illusion of being in control is a very freeing thing. In all things, I take my concerns to the Lord in prayer. Trusting that He wants the very best for me, and that He is in control of all things, I can accept what comes and go through the ups and downs of life with joy that comes from inner peace. Romans 8:28 and Phil. 4:7.
Lesson 2 God wants me to be in constant prayer
Now for some people who envision prayer as being on your knees or at least with hands clasped and eyes closed, you will have a difficult time seeing how I can be in constant prayer. There are those times that I need to be totally prostrate before the Living God in an attitude of totally focused worship, but this is not exactly what I mean.
When I say being in constant prayer, I mean being in an attitude of constant praise, prayer and thanks all day long. These are the prayers that I pray when I am laying down icing my knee, or after I get up from my exercises and get ready to go about my day. These are the prayers I say in the car sitting at a stop light (eyes wide open!), waiting at the doctor's office, or while weeding in the garden or washing up the dishes. These are the prayers that are a result of someone coming to my mind during the day. I may not have seen or talked to them recently, but I will stop and pray for them. Often I find out later that they were going through some difficulty and then I realize it is the Holy Spirit who prompted me to pray. By being in an attitude of constant prayer, I heard the Holy Spirit prompt me to pray.
Because of this attitude of constant prayer, I am seeing the power of prayer work in the lives of others as well as in my own life and attitude. Maybe for the first time in my life I can call myself a Prayer Warrior. 1 Thess. 5:17
Lesson 3 Trusting God for the details in my life
This is a lesson He has taught me over and over again in my life. I am a hard case because I so like to organize and plan. So letting go of the details that I can't control (see Lesson 1), or the unknowns in life that can't be scheduled so frustrate the planner in me, well this is a hard thing. When the plans in front of you look impossible or overwhelming, this is when I realize I am striving in my own power and NOT trusting in the Lord. Yet He wants me to trust Him and give Him my concerns in every little thing in my life.
This lesson hits me in a big way concerning our move to Kansas, the purchase of a home there, the timing of the move, the sale of the house in Everett, and the decisions on all the details. Whew! That whole task is daunting, even if we had a clear idea of where we wanted to live in KS, and we had no surgeries to interrupt the process. But with no clear focus except a general region of KS (the NE part of the state includes about 200 sq. miles), and a surgery in May with recovery through August, I had no idea how we could make this work or when.
I still don't see the end of it, as of July 12, we do own a house in KS now (subject of that search in another blog Like a Rolling Stone), and I am far enough along in the surgery that I can begin to resume thinking about the move and packing. But the sale of the house here, the logistics of the move, a 2 week cruise for our 20th anniversary in August, and how all that comes together is quite unclear to me at this point. But I do know that the Lord is in all the details. He cares about the details of our lives, if we will trust Him, then we can let go of the worry.
Prov. 3:5-6, Matt. 6:8, 34
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Monday, May 30, 2016
Sleep - the Joys of NO Alarm clock!
Oh Boy, I can sleep in every day if I want!
There is freedom in that and I certainly enjoyed doing that for a while after I first retired. It was after the PT with the surgeries that I finally got into a normal sleep rhythm again, and that felt so good, I just kept on sleeping! I was actually getting between 9 - 10 hrs. of sleep a night!
Do you know most of my working life, especially the child rearing years, I didn't get the recommended amount of sleep? And sometimes it wasn't very restful sleep with all the worries and stresses of life. Here is what they say about sleep:
Sleep and weight loss
So by getting 9 - 10 hrs. of sleep a night, I will be a size 2 by Christmas! Not really of course, but it might explain why I had such a hard time losing weight during the "busy" years.
In truth older adults need slightly less sleep than when younger, according to the National Sleep Foundation. The difficulty with older people is that our aches and pains can keep us from getting comfortable, continuous deep sleep. Sigh!
Sleep needs by age
But there can be too much of a good thing ....
So I enjoyed sleeping for a few months and even tried napping. Napping is not for me, never has been. Johnnie has mastered the "power nap" and can dose off instantly for 45 min. or so and be refreshed for the rest of the day. Not me.
After a while, I started feeling like a slug -- slow and un-energetic. The days sort of drifted by without anything to show for my time. So I started setting some goals for each day, and making sure I was up and dressed and going by a decent hour. (That time will vary based on your own circadian rhythm but I guarantee it is NOT the 3:00 am I was doing when working!)
Then I just reset to 8 - 9 hrs. a night, but I still like to sit in my robe and slippers and sip my coffee for the first couple hours each morning. I may wake up at 6:30am, being a natural morning person, but I don't need to hop out of bed and start running! Enough of that in the last 45 years!
Advice to my about-to-be-retired friends
There is freedom in that and I certainly enjoyed doing that for a while after I first retired. It was after the PT with the surgeries that I finally got into a normal sleep rhythm again, and that felt so good, I just kept on sleeping! I was actually getting between 9 - 10 hrs. of sleep a night!
Do you know most of my working life, especially the child rearing years, I didn't get the recommended amount of sleep? And sometimes it wasn't very restful sleep with all the worries and stresses of life. Here is what they say about sleep:
Sleep and weight loss
So by getting 9 - 10 hrs. of sleep a night, I will be a size 2 by Christmas! Not really of course, but it might explain why I had such a hard time losing weight during the "busy" years.
In truth older adults need slightly less sleep than when younger, according to the National Sleep Foundation. The difficulty with older people is that our aches and pains can keep us from getting comfortable, continuous deep sleep. Sigh!
Sleep needs by age
But there can be too much of a good thing ....
So I enjoyed sleeping for a few months and even tried napping. Napping is not for me, never has been. Johnnie has mastered the "power nap" and can dose off instantly for 45 min. or so and be refreshed for the rest of the day. Not me.
After a while, I started feeling like a slug -- slow and un-energetic. The days sort of drifted by without anything to show for my time. So I started setting some goals for each day, and making sure I was up and dressed and going by a decent hour. (That time will vary based on your own circadian rhythm but I guarantee it is NOT the 3:00 am I was doing when working!)
Then I just reset to 8 - 9 hrs. a night, but I still like to sit in my robe and slippers and sip my coffee for the first couple hours each morning. I may wake up at 6:30am, being a natural morning person, but I don't need to hop out of bed and start running! Enough of that in the last 45 years!
Advice to my about-to-be-retired friends
- Let is go! There are no rules so you don't have to feel guilty about sleeping in.
- Eventually we all do better when on some kind of schedule and we feel like we are accomplishing more
- Indulge in nice pajamas, robes and slippers -- you deserve it!
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